Grief Etiquette Doesn't Exist

What's personal and applicable to one person doesn't translate into a universal sentiment. When someone says to me, "You'll be okay" it's because they're coming from a well-intended position that wants to extend comfort and a promise of a brighter outlook. But because our culture doesn't prep us for mortality and death, we are ignorant to what to say and do for someone who is grieving.
We go online and search for retail prices, images article and information…it takes minutes to search "support grief" or "how to support a grieving person" and I'm sure the majority of folks don't take the time to research so they imagine what's best to say.

I realize that my emotional state makes others uncomfortable. I visually experience the discomfort as I observe how people act around me and dance around me like I'm the estranged dog in the room no one wants to rescue.
"What do I say, how do I approach her, what shouldn't I say, I don't want to say anything to hurt her, I'll talk about her daughter", etc. It's almost as though I have an invisible barrier around me that people make a conscious effort to stay away from. I have a missing limb and rather than acknowledge the pain and tragedy of losing my limb and forcing myself to manage without it, people would rather not look, not make eye contact and make silly conversation with me- or no conversation at all.

Here's some advice: if you truly care about someone who is experiencing what is possibly the worst times in their human life, be compassionate even if it makes you uncomfortable. Be real. Address the obvious and ask how the week has been or how this month is different than the last or what this person is currently missing most or just hug them. Be there. Don't ask, just do. Believe me when I say that 90% of aching hearts would rather you extend a heartfelt gesture than to say nothing at all. Everyone in my world knows I'm lost and broken- I communicate this frequently so I naturally expect the world surrounding me to see that. What I don't expect is to be accepted as I am now: different Yolie, hurt Yolie, lost, Yolie, broken without Charley Yolie. My eyes see the world different and my heart thumps at a slower pace than it did before. I'm distrusting and am more raw that I used to be. I have zero patience for unnecessary bullshit or hypersensitivity to trivial matters; matters that can be solved by just letting it go or not taking it so seriously.
I envision myself walking through a demolished house all alone and am continually breaking down the remaining walls until I find myself standing with only the foundation beneath my feet and a hammer in my right hand. It's my house with my rules and my walls- don't confine me to the box I used to be placed in and don't wish that I would go back to the old Yolie or go back to being "normal". That's a person doesn't exist anymore. How could she when most of who she was, was created with Charley as a source of almost everything? I'm new Yolie with aspirations I will attain no matter the amount of people who don't want to venture with me and dreams which feature Charley as a constant source of guidance. I'd rather trek alone with sorrow as my forgiving companion that to hide my tears and my sad eyes. I give myself permission to feel exactly what is natural to me...