When There's A Legacy, There Is Love

For a man who was anything but unmemorable, there are hundreds of ways to honor him and continue his legacy. It's true- my brother lives on in me. Look to me for a story or a glimpse into his eyes and mannerisms. Ask me about him and I'll tell you what you'd like to hear. Hold me and pretend you're actually holding him (weirdly enough, he and I smell similarly). Don't be afraid to ask about the loss of a loved one, because chances are the grieving end wants to talk about the loss. Heck, I do. Almost 5 months in and I feel like he's not being spoken about much and people would rather just live in the moments and celebrate life. Which is completely fine…but let's take yesterday's uplifting event for example.

My brother had his own traditions that he would see through with nothing but the pure intention of living life and living it up. The man loved a social atmosphere, he loved to make a fool of himself, and he loved his athletic events. Every Superbowl Sunday, he would dress up in costume with a group of his friends to run a yearly 5K in Redondo Beach. I remember the costumes, dropping my parents off around 7am and hearing about the event later that day. Last year he and his team were dressed as Mr. Trunks and the Nutty Bunch, 2011 they were dressed as The Funky Banana and the Monkey Bunch, and this year we dressed as (I took his place), The Flying Elvii.

I happily ran in his place and felt so nostalgic for him, watching his friends dance and act silly while they ran…and I ran behind them because I simply didn't feel like I was part of the group. I almost felt like I was Charley, watching them while he basked in their joy. But could easily see why they were all friends because he would easily act just as goofy and funny. It was then that I realized I would continue his yearly tradition of running the 5K in costume, but starting next year, I would run in our own group with our own friends who wish to support me and Charley.

Out of the group of people on the team, ONE person brought him up and asked me how I was doing and how much he appreciated my brother. "He was always such a good friend to me and I am just so happy that I even knew him at all. He was always so upbeat and positive". I felt the comfort in his voice and heard the yearning as well. Although the run was a yearly run with the intent to have fun, it was also (at least for me and my family) to keep Charley alive and fulfill an activity he did so effortlessly. So I did want to hear about him, but saw that no one wanted to talk about him---maybe it was to not ruin what they had effortlessly, naturally created and bringing Carlos up may dampen the mood. So, you see, because I personally carry my brother in my being, I will talk about him and will want to. It hasn't even been 5 months yet…how could people assume we're okay by now or past all the grief and be okay with not talking about him? So silly.

Here's the obvious truth: I will never stop honoring him. Whether it's for the public, blasted on social media platforms or in the quietness of my heart, Charley lives and he is alive. He is a man who is worth  selfless effort and acknowledgment. The runs, the competitions, the philanthropic work, mentoring others and smiling, smiling, loving. I will continue to stand next to my brother. He will never let me fall.